The Other Laufeyson
by ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: Every other issue seems to have been solved. No more supervillains, no more Avengers, no more invading aliens, and most of all, no more SHIELD hassling them. It's just time for the honeymoon. There's just one last thing. And that involves a trip to Jotunheim that soon escalates into an interplanetary incident, of course. Last part of the My Fellow Hedonist series.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **It's back! Back with a vengeance. I'm actually quite excited about this part.

As you'll probably notice, I haven't gone for the typical fandom interpretation of Jotunn culture - instead I've gone for a mix of myth, MCU and 616 canon. Because, to be honest, I'm just not comfortable with how people so often portray frost giant culture.

* * *

**Chapter 1: x Position in Ascendancy**

They didn't waste time on dramatic goodbyes; they didn't really want anyone to see them leaving with Malekith, and in any case, they were only planning to be gone a week or so.

So, two days after their wedding, Tony and Loki met up in Loki's lab with Malekith to leave.

They had all their equipment, clothing and survival gear and food and even weaponry, which Malekith blandly banished to a pocket universe. For safety, the pair of them were garbed in the Lightningrod suit and Iron Man respectively. Malekith just wore an old set of dichromatic robes.

Their first stop was not Jotunheim. Their first stop was an open market in order to obtain All-Speak; Malekith had forgotten the spell after so many years of not having anything to do with charming children in the All-Speak, so buying the spell off a sorcerer for hire really was their only option. Except, of course, having Malekith translate for them, which would be annoying and would make the situation impossible if they were separated.

"Are you ready, now?" Malekith asked the pair of them.

"I think so," Tony said. "If we've forgotten everything major we can just come home."

"Yes, I believe we can leave now," Loki agreed.

"Hm," Malekith said, then allowed a slight glow to form around one hand, which he then pressed to Loki's chest. Tony gripped Loki's hand. "Ready yourselves."

Teleporting was less stressful than most would imagine, especially when you'd done a lot of it. In an instant, the cool stillness of the lab had changed to hot and smelling of a thousand unplaceable things.

They were in a market. It wasn't unlike an Earth market, admittedly, with hodge-podge rickety stalls and wares being hawked, but the stalls were populated with absolutely all sorts of people in them wearing robes and cloaks and armour like some kind of actually awesome ren faire.

They were on Vanaheim, which they knew, but it still seemed so remarkable.

Malekith, who was now pale-skinned and black-haired, was completely unbothered and was already inspecting signs to find their way, but Tony and Loki couldn't stop looking.

Loki was suddenly glad for the Lightningrod suit, which barely stood out.

They couldn't understand the language being spoken around them or any of the signs, but that was probably for the best, because overstimulation was becoming an issue as they looked at animal skins and magic potions and weapons being casually sold.

"Holy shit," Tony managed mildly.

"I've seen it before," Loki said, "But it is still quite an experience."

"Humans!" Malekith called. "This way!"

Tearing their eyes away from every whatnot they could see, Loki led Tony through the throngs of people to a tent Malekith had found.

"The All-Speak charm is a simple one," Malekith told them. This person claims to be a sorcerer, it should be fine."

He led them into the tent. It was tiny and cramped, with a desk wedged across the space. There was a Vanir sorceress, dark-haired and berobed and with shining blue eyes, reading a scroll boredly.

"Two people need the All-Speak," Malekith said shortly.

The Vanir replied lazily "All liability does not fall on me. Spells are unpredictable with-" she waved her hand, producing a slight amount of purple magic. "-humans, I think. Interesting."

"Yes, yes," Malekith said. "Cost?"

There was short exchange between Malekith and the sorceress before Malekith pulled some of the gold they'd brought with them out of mid-air and handed it to her.

Another purple implosion of magic and she'd confirmed the money was real.

"Sit down," she said to Tony and Loki. They complied nervously.

The sorceress then focused for a moment, producing glittery swirls of purple and silver light, and then channeled it onto them.

Tony's head tingled for a moment, and then felt fine. "Wow. Thanks," he said.

"Thank you very much," Loki agreed.

The sorceress's sharp eyebrows drew downwards and she prepared another identifying spell, then angled it at Malekith, who repelled it with a blue blast of his own.

"Svartalfar!" she said in surprise.

"Yes, I admit that," Malekith said. "Tell no one."

"I have to!" she said in fear, purple magic swirling all over.

Malekith lashed out with another blast of magic, which she repelled, but he followed up with a few sharp and dirty strikes that overwhelmed her.

"Help!" she shrieked, then started to discorporate, becoming shadowy purple butterflies.

Malekith slammed her with another charm and she became solid and rather unconscious.

"What the hell?" Tony said in shock to him.

"If Gullveig finds me on Jotunheim, Loptr and his people could be annihilated for harbouring me. I won't take that chance," Malekith said. "It's a memory alteration or death."

Five minutes in, and they were already fighting a moral crisis. "Do it," Loki said with a sigh. "Leave an extra coin or two for her. I feel a tad guilty already."

A little bit of magic later, and they left the tent.

"I can guide you as you teleport," Malekith told Loki. "It would be best. I don't want to get lost in the icy void of space."

"Please do," Loki said, a rising nervousness in his chest. Meeting Loptr was going to be intense.

"Clench up, husband of mine," Tony said, grinning in anticipation.

"Oh, I already am," Loki said cheerily as Malekith prepared them for another jump.

-O.O-

They appeared on Jotunheim instantaneously. The first thing Loki noticed was the cold; the second was how dark it was. The wind was instantly biting and harsh, wiggling into Loki and Malekith's clothes and at least making a decent attempt at cooling Tony.

The ground was made of something like slate, in layers, and the landscape was craggy and unpredictable with mounds and shards of rock protruding randomly and massive yawning voids dropping unpredictably away. Above them, structures of rock like giant stalactites loomed down. Vicious landscape, reminiscient of documentaries about a newly-formed Earth.

"We are up very high here," Malekith told them. "Loptr's region is not known as the High Crest erroneously. Below us and to the east and south is the Ironwood. If we follow this path for about a kilometre we will be in the city."

Tony was marvelling at his surroundings, faceplate up to see as best as possible, but managed to say "Why didn't we just teleport right in?"

"Because that is rude," Loki guessed.

Malekith agreed with him.

Loki noticed then that Tony's face was glowing slightly. He then noticed that he was also glowing, and that he didn't feel the cold as much. "The Extremis is working, then."

"Still cold as balls," Tony puffed. "Let's get walking."

That they did. The world was amazingly still and cold, a heavy frost hanging in the air obscuring long distance views. The main sounds were their footsteps and rocks falling into the abyss.

Both humans couldn't stop looking around in amazement even though there was nothing to see. The only signs of life seemed to be small amounts of moss and suggestive shufflings in the distance.

"Is this night?" Loki asked.

"Late morning," Malekith said. "We are a long way from any warming star."

That was an unpleasant thought. Tony couldn't help but wonder what everyone ate, if not plants.

They were quick to realise that they really were a long way up. Loki experimentally dropped a rock over one of the edges. It took a very long time for it to land.

When Malekith said 'path' he meant it in the most simple form - it was a long stretch of unbroken rock leading away into the mist. That said, a good solid path could hardly be frowned upon.

After walking for a long time, a figure approached them out of the mist.

"Malekith," was all they said. Their voice was deep, their accent almost English, which was strange. They also spoke peculiarly softly, as though in a library. "The guards spotted your approach and informed me immediately."

That was perturbing, because they hadn't sensed any guards at all.

"Eisa," Malekith said. "A pleasure."

"Spare me," they said, their form finally taking shape.

This was their first glance of a Frost Giant; they were tall, maybe seven feet, and surprisingly slim. Their skin was a deep, rich blue, and covered in raised geometric lines all over. They were dressed only in a somewhat leathery long loincloth adorned with several knife holsters, including a lack of shoes, but their most distinctive feature by far was the long, straight corkscrew horns like a dikdik's protruding from a completely bald forehead, and the intensely scarlet eyes. Perched just behind the giant's horns was a delicate circlet of spun gold studded with rubies that looked quite out of place in the dark, dull landscape.

"Who are your guests?" the giant asked.

Tony decided to take charge then. "Anthony Laufeyson-Stark of Midgard, and Loki Laufeyson-Stark, also of Midgard."

"Ah," Eisa said. "I am Eisa Loptrsdottir Glutsdottir, third in ascendancy to the throne of Muspelheim, first in ascendancy to both the throne of Jotunheim and of the High Crest, master warrior. A pleasure to meet you, guests. You're here to see Loptr, yes?"

That smacked of a formal introduction, and also told them that Eisa was female. That just added to the humans' extreme interest in everything that was going on; clearly gender dimorphism wasn't so much of a thing there.

"Yes, we are, but it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance too," Loki said, smiling winningly.

"Look at that, Malekith, there are polite and respectful creatures in the Realms," Eisa said cuttingly. "You pale in compare."

Malekith looked mildly annoyed at that.

"Follow me," Eisa said resignedly, setting off down the path. Her feet were totally silent on the rock.

The cold didn't bother her at all, clearly, despite the lack of any form of insulation, and that was just another curiosity.

Apparently they were entering the city. Certainly the ground was flatter and clearly had been maintained for living. As they got further in, they began to see what were clearly homes, mostly burrows in the rock, but lovingly cared for once upon a time with carvings and decorations around the mouth, even though they were cracked and broken now. The increase in density created the feeling of a proper town despite the fact there weren't any other giants around.

"Your first time on our planet?" Eisa asked them.

"It is," Tony said. "It's amazing."

She thinned her already thin lips. "It has seen better days, by every account."

Walking further into the city brought them soaring arches made of ice and stone, pillars of rust and stone, homes with above-ground ice structures more elaborate than the ones they'd seen further out. But things were still broken. Pillars of rock snapped in half, rock shards sprayed all over the place.

"Only the homes nearer the centre are populated now," Eisa explained in passing. "Loptr is at the academy. We'll go there."

This meant winding around the centre of town. The town centre itself seemed to be a massive pair of rock pillars stretching far into the sky, linked by stone chevron; they couldn't help but wonder what it meant. There were giants in this area, but they all seemed busy, doing whatever giants did at that time of day.

It became clear fairly quickly that Eisa was unusual-looking by their standards; she was smaller by at least half a foot than most, there was no one else with horns like hers, and her slim build was echoed by none, as they were all massively muscular. Despite that, she was confident as she walked through them; rightly so, if she was next in line to the throne as she said.

The fact that one of her titles was 'Loptrsdottir' was also rather telling. Loki had not, in his many imaginings of the current events, imagined that Loptr had a child or children.

Eisa led them down a short slope to another plateau. This one had a large, elaborate stone and rock structure, sturdily built, and large perfectly flat fields. One of these had lines of giants on it, all standing at attention.

Two people were pacing back and forth at the front. One, the much smaller one, was talking, but they couldn't hear them at that distance, and the larger one - positively huge - was following them.

"Wait for him to finish his speech," Eisa told them, leading them to a seating area.

Unfortunately, Loptr's speech seemed to have largely finished already, and so they'd missed it. The mist was thick and he wasn't that close, so his features weren't clear, but Tony could already tell with a kind of supernatural confusion that he was similar to Loki. Around the same height, same way of walking, same silhouette.

The giant next to him was terrifying. They were about three or four feet taller than Loptr, hugely muscular, and with long, curved horns that made about a 270 degree circle.

Loptr's pacing led him closer to them, and he stopped in front of one particular giant in the line in front of him.

"I can feel insubordination radiating off you, you know," Loptr said, his voice deadly soft and tinged with an English accent, identical to Loki's.

Tony looked over at Loki. Underneath the glow of Extremis, he was pale with surprise. Tony couldn't blame him; he felt about the same.

The giant Loptr was confronting would've been about a foot and a half taller than him, and rather muscular; it was like a typical nerd vs jock high school setting.

"Speak your mind," Loptr continued.

"You are small and weak," the giant began bluntly.

"Yes, I am," Loptr admitted. "Anything else?"

"You are too small and weak," the giant stated again. "And you're young. My parents say you can't expect to be taken seriously."

"To do what? Lead, fight? It's not the size, it's how you wield it, and that much I can prove to you. Step forward. Choose your training weapon," Loptr said.

The giant's posture now looked unsure, but he did step forward, and with a move of his hand, grew ice down his arm to form a freezing club.

Tony and Loki didn't even talk, too fascinated by what they were seeing.

Loptr himself pulled something out of the air with a tinge of green magic. It was a long staff, about as tall as Loptr himself, made of wood. The last fact was surprising for the total lack of vegetation and sunlight.

"I consider myself mildly insulted," Loptr said with a ceremonial air. "A challenge has been made, I think."

They were going to fight. It seemed impossible that Loptr could win; he was tiny compared to every other giant there.

"You may have the first strike," Loptr said, his tone still level and soft. "Also, I am not allowed magic, of course."

The giant lunged at Loptr with his club, but Loptr dodged amazingly quickly, twirling his staff between his fingers, then slamming it into the instep of the giant's foot. That clearly hurt, and the giant lurched in an ungainly way to face Loptr again, but it was pretty clear that Loptr had the upper hand now.

Loptr struck with his staff repeatedly in sensitive or weak areas, propped his weight on it to give him height for a strike, and used it to topple the giant onto his back. It was pretty obvious why he favoured the staff as a weapon; it added height and leverage that he lacked.

Then he brought it down on the giant's head with enough force for it to be a killing blow, but stopped himself at the absolute last second.

"Get back in line," Loptr said. "Control your emotions. Next time I will not spare you; I don't have time for anyone who isn't totally loyal. As for your parents, well, we'll see."

He twirled the staff again, then banished it back into a pocket dimension.

"Anyone else?" Loptr asked lightly. "No? Well, enjoy the remainder of your lessons for the day. I see my daughter and some official business waiting for me. Skadi, follow."

The huge giant, apparently called Skadi, followed Loptr as he made his way over to them.

Tony heard Loki's breath hitch, and he couldn't help but agree.

Malekith hadn't been lying; Loptr was the spitting image of Loki once one discounted the blue skin and searingly red eyes. He was incredibly short compared to the other giants, quite lean, exactly Loki's height and build, and had prominent cheekbones and black hair cut to just under the nape of his neck, a few inches shorter than how Loki was currently wearing it. It was quite disturbing, especially as Loptr was dressed just like his daughter in a simple long loincloth and Tony recognised every crag on his body. Though, admittedly, Loptr looked slightly younger. Perched on top of his dark hair was a circlet much like Eisa's, only a little more detailed.

When he reached them, his red eyes looked them over calculatingly, obviously drawn to Loki. But instead of speaking, he made a deferring gesture to Skadi, who stepped up. She was dressed a little differently to Loptr and Eisa, with iron accents on her person, a rather more practical pair of leathery shorts, and multiple weapon sheathes. She'd also gone for a rather dramatic fur across her massive shoulders, tied there by a line of animal teeth.

Tony had honestly expected her voice to boom, from her size, but she was just as quiet as Loptr and Eisa, though her voice was deeper. "I am Skadi Thjazisdottir, first in ascendancy to the throne of the Southern Lakes, master warrior."

Loptr spoke then. "I am Loptr Farbautison Laufeyson, king of Jotunheim, leader of the High Crest, second in ascendancy to the throne of Muspelheim, master mage, master scholar, master warrior."

Those introductions got tiring_ fast._

"You must be the other Laufeyson," Loptr said directly to Loki.

Loki found his words after a second, then tried for one of their introductions.

"I am Loki Laufeyson-Stark, master physicist," Loki said cautiously.

"Very good," Loptr said, seemingly totally unsurprised by what was happening. He smiled next at Tony, his face just as stiff-seeming as Malekith's. "And you?"

"I am Anthony Laufeyson-Stark, master engineer," Tony said awkwardly.

"A pleasure. And Malekith the Accursed," Loptr said. "How did you get past the embargo? It's been in place for some time."

"Loki invented a non-magical form of teleporting," Malekith told him, somewhat proudly.

"Remarkable. And useful," Loptr said, and it didn't come across pandering, but genuinely, actually fascinated. "You'll tell me more about that later."

"We came here to talk to you," Tony said. "About you and Loki. The two Laufeysons."

"I know," Loptr said unconcernedly. "It fascinated me when I first learned about it too. But that's a subject for formal times. It's nearly time for the meal. This class is breaking up and heading for the mess in due course, and I suggest we join them."

It seemed rude to refuse such an offer, so Tony and Loki just went along with it.

To say the least, it had been an interesting introduction to the mystery.


	2. Two Daughters, No Fries

**Chapter 2: Two Daughters, No Fries**

Differences between Loptr and Loki's manner were slight, but noticeable. Loptr was definitely more contained and inexpressive, and he tended to carry himself more warily. But he was a thousand years older and it was a rough neighbourhood, so that wasn't surprising in itself.

It was just so strange. Everything about being there was surreal to Tony, and while Loki had a lot more extraterrestrial experience, it was still pretty bizarre to him too. As soon as they had time alone, they were going to dissect everything.

But they didn't have time to themselves. In fact, it seemed they were entering an exceedingly formal situation, wherein Loptr was dining with students. Not knowing the social conducts, Tony and Loki just followed Malekith's lead as Loptr led them inside and took a seat at one of the tables.

Loptr's scarlet eyes were still inspecting them curiosly. "Your armour," he said with a nod at Tony. "Is that common on Midgard? I've never seen anything like it."

"Nope. It's one-of-a-kind," Tony said. "I built it myself."

"Hence the title of master engineer, one can suppose," Loptr said smoothly, sounding so much like Loki that Tony felt uncomfortable. "Did you bring food of your own? Judging by past experience with non-Jotnar offworlders, our food will kill you."

"We did," Tony said. "But we ate just before we arrived. Don't worry about us."

"Then I shan't," Loptr said. "Are you staying long?"

"Maybe," Loki said. "It does depend on several factors."

"Then I'll assume you are. Eisa, dear one, could you organise accommodation and perhaps lend yourself as a guide for a short while?" Loptr asked.

"I could," Eisa said shortly, unenthused.

"Thank you," Loptr said. "To remove formalities from our path first: talk to anyone you like, but as always, there is work to be done, so don't expect they'll be overly interested. Please do not talk to my other daughter, Einmyria, unless she speaks to you first. You'll know her when you see her. And do not drink the water."

That sparked curiosity. "What?" Tony said, at the same time as Loki asked "Why?"

"Because," Loptr said, raising his glass, which apparently just contained water. "It's below the freezing temperature of standard water here, and yet we have liquid. Figure it out."

"It's not water, then," Tony said.

Loki was sniffing the glass in front of himself. "It is. But it has something in it. Natural antifreeze?"

"If that means that it lowers the melting point of water, then yes," Loptr said. "Recent studies into that that I have conducted suggest that the substance - your antifreeze - is quite possibly the foundation of all life on such a cold planet; otherwise, Jotunheim would be a lifeless rock this far from any star. Further studies are to be performed, despite the general lack of interest."

Tony had to admit that he'd been expecting the Jotnar - a wild and untechnological race - to be a lot dumber.

Everyone was surprised as Loki's ice glass cracked and fell apart in his hand.

"I'm too warm," Loki cursed. "I will try my hardest not to break anything. From here on. Damn it."

"No matter," Loptr said. With a wave of his hand, he'd already replaced it, spinning a new ice cup out of midair and placing it on the table.

It was infuriating, not being able to study any of the amazing things happening around them in detail. Instead they sat there as students filed into the room and were served food by several other giants, and as Loptr made idle chit-chat with both Eisa and Malekith.

Malekith had downplayed their relationship, but it seemed that they were at least on good terms, judging by how easily they fell into a friendly routine.

It was interesting enough on its own just to watch Eisa. Her face was stiffer than a human's, but she was clearly ticked off in some way, her stare dry as she picked at dead skin at the base of a horn.

It did raise the question of how old she was, proportionally. Tony had to stifle amusement at the thought that she was an overdramatic teenager.

"...And in any case, in light of recent events, I have something I must discuss with you later," Loptr murmured to Malekith. "But forget business. Is that glow an energy field? A heat field?"

The discussion veered into science from there on.

Jargon was an issue. The All-Speak wasn't infallible; if there was no equivalent for a word in the translated language, then it left it as the original, hence Malekith's difficulty with 'intern' among other words. Using jargon was an excellent way to generate confusion. So the conversation involved a lot of hand gestures and also a lot of drawing on the table.

Every other table was fairly quiet as the other giants, mostly students, talked among themselves in their soft voices.

Tony was still unnerved by Loptr; discussing Extremis with him was like talking science with a technologically incompetent version of his dear husband.

Once all the food had been cleared away - some sorts of meat, maybe, all a dark purple-red and something like mushrooms, and none of it smelt appetising, though Loptr, Malekith and Eisa seemed happy to munch it down - Loptr looked a tad more serious.

"So. You're here to learn more about our anomaly, I take it?" Loptr asked.

"I am," Loki answered. "Ever since I learned about it, it's nagged at me."

"Fair enough. I'm not well-versed on the subject myself, in all honesty; the travel embargo limits me from researching with potential sources of information such as the Norns. But I can tell you what I know," Loptr said. "Unfortunately, now is not the time. I'm busy this afternoon."

"We have all the time in the world," Tony shrugged.

"Excellent. Eisa, what are you doing today?" Loptr asked her.

"Very little," she admitted.

"Then could you perhaps direct them to a room they might stay in, preferably with ample furs, so that I might collect them later?"

"Of course," Eisa said.

Loptr's attention was then diverted by some other official-looking giant, and soon, he'd apologised and left to perform some highly important duty.

That left them with Eisa, who seemed a little lighter after his departure.

"Come with me," Eisa said, getting up from the table. "It's not very far. You're more than welcome to wander around, just don't get lost, because there are_ things_ out there, and don't annoy anyone."

She didn't particularly say anything else as she led the three of them out of the school and back up into the city. Eisa then directed them to the enormous chevron structure in the middle of the city, which looked like a throne on closer inspection, and then behind it to a grand and well-maintained home behind it.

Like the others, it went down into the rock, into a creeping darkness. None of the Jotnar seemed to have a problem with the dark, lending the impression that their eyes were uncommonly good. Fortunately, Tony and Loki's eyes had more than adjusted to the dim light.

Eisa led them a certain depth into the house, past various rooms, most of which weren't worth noting. This was excluding the one they went past where the walls were inexplicably streaked with a spectrum of colours.

That probably had some kind of meaning.

Finally they reached what was clearly some kind of bedroom. Eisa offered it to them, first asking if they did want to share a room (no doubt she'd picked up on the shared last names), they accepted, Malekith drew a large amount of their stuff out of midair, and the pair of them continued down the hallway.

A quick look around the room told them little. There were shelves cut into the rock, a freestanding desk also made of rock, and a round raised dais covered in dark fur which was probably a bed. Some kind of skin partially covered the ground. While the floor was smooth from use and polishing, it was clearly just a spare bedroom.

Curiously enough, there was no door of any kind, just an opening, which would likely make things difficult.

Tony got out of the Iron Man for the first time and had a stretch while Loki inspected the furs on the bed. They were mostly local camouflage colours; either a dark blue-black, grey, or else an icy blue-white, and they looked incredibly warm.

Both Laufeyson-Starks were absolutely itching to have a private conversation about everything.

Loki flopped down onto the furs and sighed. "This is all rather perplexing."

Tony was more thoroughly inspecting the room when someone appeared in the doorway.

They were a giant in name only; they were about four and a half feet tall, the smallest giant Tony or Loki had seen yet. A child, probably.

"Hello," they chirruped cheerfully, entering the room without a care.

As the giant walked into the room, things became more clear; mostly the fact that the giant looked like a tiny little Loptr, with dark hair, slim limbs and pronounced cheekbones, tiny little horn nubs like Eisa's and another ruby and gold circlet.

Loki looked at the little giant thoughtfully. "You must be Einmyria."

The little giant nodded. "I can do this. Eisa was teaching me the other day," Einmyria said, her voice sweet and clear and unbroken. She puffed out her chest. "I am Einmyria Glutsdottir Loptrsdottir, third in ascendancy...fourth, I think...I don't know. I'm Einmyria."

"That's okay," Tony said, sliding on his dealing-with-children smile. "What're you doing here?"

"I heard there were-" she lowered her voice dramatically_. "Fleshy people._ Like Gullveig. So I wanted to take a look."

"Well, here we are," Loki said. He'd adopted a similar dealing-with-children smile.

It was pretty obvious that Einmyria was just a kid, after all. She was ludicrously tiny.

"You're kind of red," Einmyria said simply.

Then they saw something entirely strange, and outside their understanding of magic; Einmyria went to sit down, and as she did, a little chair made out of something like slate appeared out of nowhere in time to catch her.

Tony was about to ask her how she'd done that, but Loki managed to cut him off with a look in his eyes.

_Don't talk to Einmyria unless she talks to you first_ had been the general gist of what Loptr had told them. Sure, she had talked to them first, but the implication was that they weren't supposed to talk much at all.

Loki instead went for neutral ground. "How does the door work?"

Einmyria got to her feet, the chair vanishing again, and made her way to the open doorway. "It's simple if you're from here," she said. "Which you're not, I guess. See, there's this ice thing-"

She wiggled her hands around against the doorframe, and after a second or two, an icy door slid down.

"It's so intruders can't close the doors. If they're off-worlders," Einmyria said.

"Do you have intruders often?" Tony asked.

"Not since I've been here. They wouldn't dare, anyway," Einmyria shrugged.

That was a good topic to interrogate the little girl on further, anyway. "How long have you lived here? How old are you?" Loki pressed on.

"I've lived here three years," Einmyria said. "I used to live on Muspelheim with Eisa and dad. And I'm twenty-six."

"No mum?" Tony asked.

"No. Mum died. That's why we had to come live here. Dad was only allowed to live back in Muspelheim when he was married to her," Einmyria told them. "Then grandad made us come here. And then grandad died. And then grandma. So it's just me and Eisa and Loptr now."

"And you're happy?" Tony couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah. But it's really dark and bland here," Einmyria said. "Eisa's calling me."

"How can you..." Tony said vaguely.

But Einmyria had gotten to her feet and sprinted away. Through the wall. The solid stone wall.

For a start, that left them with the question of how to open and close the door themselves.

"I mean this in the most respectful way possible," Loki said. "But what the fuck was that all about? My physics brain is hurting."

"Oh gods, I don't know. She just ran through that wall," Tony said.

Loki leaned off the bed and inspected the chair Einmyria had created. It was as solid and real as anything.

"Let's pretend that never happened," he breathed. "We'd better unpack our equipment."

Sluggishly, the pair of them went through the things Malekith had returned to them and found all their measuring things. Mostly for analysing.

As they set up, they kept talking.

"Loptr seemed weird," Tony said. "He was really polite, but he's definitely being strategic about what he says to us. I don't think we should throw all our chips in and just trust him."

"Oh, I wasn't planning to," Loki agreed. "And Eisa seems discontent."

"Looks like a bitchy teenage girl, really," Tony said.

"Don't limit the 'bitchy teenager' trait to just girls," Loki said. "I wasn't any better."

"I had my moments," Tony said. "Of course, I was usually the proper little heir of Stark Industries. Rebellion doesn't come naturally to me."

"I don't doubt it," Loki said dryly. "Now. Malekith and Loptr."

"I'm worried about that."

"So am I. We reduce our trust of Malekith proportionally, I think. Safety should be our first priority."

"How about we adopt that old adage: trust no one. Except each other, of course. I'd be lost without my plucky assistant," Tony said.

"Naturally," Loki said, then puffed out a breath. "There's so much to discuss, and I can't think of anything to say."

"I know what you mean," Tony said. "This is all too much. Aliens are weird. And blue."

"Come here," Loki said, flopping down on the bed now that their equipment was set up. Once Tony had also deposited himself on the bed and given the obligatory kiss, Loki continued "Thank you very much for accompanying me on my latest hare-brained adventure."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Tony said. "Anyway, Earth, or at least New York, had kind of lost its charm. We should go travelling when we get back."

"Lead the way," Loki purred. "No doubt it'll be pleasurable. And no doubt we can stimulate some local economies."

"Yeah, but for now, we just have to stay alive here," Tony said. "Should be fun."

"No reason it can't be."


	3. That Feeling When Confused

**Chapter 3: That Feeling When Confused**

Tony and Loki resolved to remain in their room until Einmyria or someone similar came back for them.

This suited them, in the way that newly married couples enjoyed having time to themselves in the wholly innocent way of spending time together.

Being on Jotunheim was literally an alien experience, so taking a moment suited them.

"First thing's first," Tony said. "We need to talk to Loptr. After that, I don't think that we should stick around. It sounds like everything here could kill us."

"Including the people," Loki said, unconsciously lowering his voice as if imparting a secret.

"Well, yeah. And we need to talk to Malekith. Loptr hinted that he didn't know anything, so we need a next move," Tony said.

"Mm," Loki agreed, leaning back on the bed and closing his eyes.

"You're getting monosyllabic," Tony said, poking Loki in the chest.

"Yep," Loki said. "I'm thinking."

"Napping."

"Thinking," Loki insisted. "I need to go over Loptr's mannerisms. If he's like me, then he'll be an excellent liar, and he's had a thousand years of extra practice. Also, Jotnar faces are rather stiff."

"True. What d'you make of Skadi?"

"Terrifying," Loki chuckled. "Remind me not to piss her off."

"Because you're an expert at not pissing people off."

"As are you," Loki said lightly.

"Point taken," Tony shrugged, leaning back with him. "Aliens are cool."

"Chitauri are not."

"Yeah, well, maybe they're really nice and we just got off on the wrong foot," Tony said.

"I lived with them for some time. The only thing positive about them is that they're easy to kill," Loki said. "Despite the inherent risk, I much prefer it here."

"You fit right in, babe; you look just like the boss."

"And that is the greatest mystery of all," Loki said. "Second, really, after how Diglett work."

"Diglett? What the hell's that?"

"That's it, we're getting a divorce," Loki said teasingly. He was then interrupted by a beep from some of the equipment. "Aha. Science calls."

"Seriously, tell me," Tony said, but he conceded to following Loki to the floor and looking through the results. "Hey, the air's pretty much the same as back home."

"More oxygen, less nitrogen, but largely the same," Loki confirmed. "So we shouldn't get sick, long-term."

"And the ice is mostly standard edition water with a few unknown elements, including Loptr's antifreeze. Cool. This place is actually habitable," Tony said, scrolling through other analytical results. "Cold as balls, though."

To Tony and Loki both, this was fantasy squared. Not just seeing an alien world, but seeing the science of an alien world.

"But seriously, Diglett," Tony added.

-O.O-

Having resolved to stay put until someone came back for them - the alternative was destroying the door, which would no doubt be rude, as it was in most cultures - Loki and Tony ended up taking at least an hour, maybe two, to sit around, analyse everything and talk to each other.

After that period of time, the door slid back up again to reveal Eisa.

"Who closed this?" Eisa asked.

"Your sister," Loki said. "She declined to tell us how to open it."

They'd both decided to shut up about the chair thing and the running through walls thing for the minute.

Eisa smiled, somewhat fondly. "My apologies. Einmyria does what she wants," she said, then gestured out into the hallway. "If you're interested, Loptr has time to talk to you. He also said he'd appreciate it if you could wear your armours; he has questions."

"Thank you," Tony said, retrieving his helmet. "Thanks for guiding us too, by the way."

Eisa snorted. "I don't particularly appreciate being treated as a tour guide, no, but you are strange, and I had nothing better to do."

"What a compliment," Loki said dryly.

Eisa chuckled, her mood clearly better than before. "Follow me. He's on his official seat."

The pair of them followed her back out of the dwelling and towards the towering chevron thing, which apparently had a throne under it.

Loki instinctively disliked the idea of meeting Loptr on his throne. It created an instantaneous power imbalance between them, and while Loki had no objections with playing power imbalances, he much preferred it when they were in his own favour.

As expected, it was a throne. Loptr looked tiny compared to it, but he seemed tiny compared to so many things on the planet; a genetic abnormality, or so it seemed, among the Jotnar. Eisa was relatively small too, and Einmyria probably was, but it was hard to tell given that they didn't know what relative age she was.

To their surprise, Malekith was there too, where he'd clearly just been talking to Loptr. The dark elf made some kind of hand gesture, the one he always used for greeting.

"Hello, Loki, Anthony," Loptr said, formal introductions gone. "You wanted to know what I knew about the issue of our similarities."

"Hold on," Loki said calmly, ascending the throne's dias and sitting much closer to Loptr, smiling benignly as he put them on an even footing. "I couldn't hear you from all the way down there."

Tony was trying not to laugh as he did the same. Eisa just affected a serious-looking facial expression and left.

Loptr didn't react to that, just started his explanation. "I can't tell you I know much. For a start, do you know who Gullveig is?"

Both of them nodded.

"She is an extremely proficient sorceress and seer in addition to her other roles. She informed my father, the late Laufey, of my apparently bifurcated nature, that I was one half of something. Unfortunately, you weren't born for another thousand years - such is the way of the world - and as such she could tell him little more. Our relationship has deteriorated since then," It felt like an understatement and probably was - "and so I haven't asked her what this means."

"So what, you know nothing at all?" Tony asked.

"Impatient," Loptr tutted. "After your birth, and after my recent return to Jotunheim, I made a point of visiting the Norns and enquiring to them."

Loki just continued looking understanding, while Tony rather sarcastically raised his hand.

"The Fates, love. They know all, see all, et cetra," Loki murmured. Tony nodded.

"The Norns claimed to know very little about the nature of the issue; notably, they rightfully keep secrets when they see fit, so this may have been a lie. But they were more than happy to tell me about you, so yes, I know who you are, and who he is," Loptr gestured at Tony.

Loki tried to stop himself from saying _if you don't know anything then why the eff did we just wait in a tiny room for two hours waiting to talk to you,_ but restrained himself.

"Thank you very much," Loki said formally. "Is there anything we could do to find out more?"

"Talking to Gullveig, perhaps, wouldn't go amiss," Loptr shrugged. "She might mistake you for me, unfortunately, which could lead to all kinds of problems."

"Why?" Tony asked, trying to sound curious and not accusing.

Loptr waved a hand at the sky. "The embargo. There are ships in orbit, too. If I leave this planet, I will violate her terms, and the punishment for that isn't something I think I'd wish on you."

"Yeah, you mentioned, but why the embargo?"

"Gullveig did not consider my father a threat to her. However, I've made it clear while re-unifying Jotunheim that I plan to be a little fiercer. This has apparently worried her into cracking down on me," Loptr said. "Pay it no mind. Just tell her to run a spell or two on yourself to confirm your identity. You have my well-wishes; I'm curious to hear what she has to say."

"Thank you," Loki said. And then, because he couldn't resist asking: "Is that it?"

"Of course not," Loptr said, leaning forward with easy amiability on his face. "According to Gullveig, we're somewhat akin to brothers. I wanted to get to know you. And your spouse, of course."

"Oh," Loki remarked, vaguely surprised. "I can do that."

"Unless you've been struck by some kind of amnesia, I'd certainly hope so," Loptr said. "And I'm quite looking forward to the part where you create a form of non-magical teleportation."

Loptr's interest in it made Loki feel a little unsettled, mostly just because it was the kind of secret he'd made a point of holding close to his chest. But Loptr seemed to be a man of science; unlikely that he was up to something.

Loki just decided to not let him in on the specifics.

-O.O-

Loptr, as it turned out, was perfectly interested in the SparkNotes version of Loki's life history, and then Tony's, and was a very attentive listener.

Malekith sort of dozed off early on, bored by the repetition of things he already knew, and they were interrupted midway by the arrival of Einmyria, who appeared silently from inside the house and came to settle on Loptr's lap to listen. He didn't say anything to that, just idly started fussing with her hair as she leaned against him.

At the end of everything, Loptr was clearly restraining himself from asking more questions, especially about the Lightningrod suit, but instead of letting loose he just asked if they wanted to know anything about him.

"Admittedly, yes," Loki said. "Einmyria said before that you lived on Muspelheim, hm?"

"You talked to Einmyria?" Loptr asked, his tone sterner for a minute.

"Yep," Einmyria piped up. "I saw them before."

Loptr paused for a moment, then continued. "Muspelheim, yes. When I was very young and Jotunheim had just fallen to the Light Alliance, led by Gullveig and her little sycophants Frey and Freyja, my father's position as ruler suddenly became so very precarious that he appealed to the monarchs of Muspelheim for assistance. They backed his royal claim and offered firepower to battle dissenters, and he sent his only child to marry their second-oldest child, Glut. Hence my move to Muspelheim. Laufey was never especially fond of me."

"How old were you?" Tony couldn't help but ask.

"Twelve, and Glut was about twice that," Loptr said. "Marriage is an Elven thing that most Jotnar don't care for. It was a formality."

They were interrupted for a second by Einmyria demanding that Loptr braid her hair.

"For the last time, no. Your hair is fine as is. You'll look like a blue dwarf, ashling," Loptr tutted.

Einmyria made a face, but settled back down.

"In any case, all was well. I had Eisa when I was thirty-two," Loptr said. "From thereon I continued my scientific, magical and political studies. Little to nothing happened that is worth relaying to you, aside from sporadic and highly depressing visits here to home, until Einmyria was born."

Loki's brain had rather become stuck on Loptr being in his early thirties when he first had Eisa; either Einmyria was physically older than she looked and acted, or Loptr had been crazily young by human standards.

Both humans just settled themselves by the internal reminder of possible cultural and biological differences.

"And this is where I come in," Einmyria said.

"Well, yes, it is, ashling. Einmyria was born, and everyone _cringed_ in horror because the one who refuses to keep her clothing clean had been born-"

Einmyria raised a cynical eyebrow. "I'm better now."

"A little, I can admit," Loptr said, poking her in the side. "I know you get your sister to help you."

The expression on Einmyria's face suggested that Eisa was going to pay for sharing that little tidbit of information.

Given the similarities that were still showing through between Loki and Loptr's demeanours, it was strange seeing what Loki might be like if he had kids. Certainly Loki felt slightly uncomfortable at the idea.

"So yes, I have lived on Muspelheim for the vast majority of my life, hence my accent," Loptr said. And apparently, that semi-posh English accent was from growing up on a different planet. Weird. "After my perfect Glut died, I was no longer quite as welcome on Muspelheim, and my father was getting old, so some time after her death I moved back here. After Laufey died, I had a lot of work to do in stabilising my position as king of the Jotnar, a project I'm still working on."

He made it sound so reasonable, but history lessons back home told the humans that stabilising one's position as a king was usually a violent and cruel proceeding.

"And that is all that's really relevant," Loptr said. "At the risk of sounding as though I'm furthering my own goals, at this point I'd recommend you visit Gullveig and perhaps the Norns. And then, of course, tell me what you find. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like, naturally, I simply fear you'd get bored fast. The wars are largely over; it's just day to day business around here."

"Except for-" Einmyria started to cut in, but Loptr shushed her.

"Except for the upcoming joining of my little family with someone else's, but that won't be any particular spectacle," Loptr said.

"Congratulations," Tony said. "Is that like your version of getting married?"

"In a fashion, though not quite," Loptr said. "Don't trouble yourself about it. Would you care for a tour of the High Crest?"

"Uh, sure," Tony said, getting to his feet at the same time as Loki and Malekith. He was beginning to feel like he'd just created more questions than he'd had answered.


	4. Stinks Like A Dragon

**Chapter 4: It Stinks Like A Dragon**

Loptr was just the picture of a cordial host.

The way he walked and talked reminded Tony of Loki, of course, but Loki in a very specific mood; Loki setting out to impress for his own personal reasons.

But Loptr's voice was always a low purr, like every other Jotunn they'd encountered, and he walked so sharply because of the rough terrain and his distinct lack of shoes. Probably.

"The High Crest is one of the oldest settlements on Jotunheim; at least, for Jotnar. There are older settlements of Rock and Storm giants," Loptr said. "This area is advantageous due to the lack of predators. It's too cold up here."

"How do you know that?" Loki couldn't help but ask.

"Records, mostly, sparse as they are. A little archaeological evidence, some anthropology. To be honest, it's mostly a legend, but there is evidence to back it up," Loptr said. "We're relatively close to the equator here. Slightly to the East are the Ironwoods, an close ally of ours and where my soon-to-be partner comes from. North leads to the complex cave system occupied by many of my fellows. South-West will take you to the Southern Lakes, where Skadi comes from."

"How close?"

"A few days' travel, maybe. I haven't been to anywhere except Ironwood since the Civil Wars ended, though I do plan a grand tour in due course," Loptr said. "You must understand, royalty is the position of one who directs Jotunheim in interplanetary affairs. For all other purposes, the tribes are lead by their own leaders. As it was before Jotunheim attempted to expand into other planets, and as it should be. The Jotnar would not function with a central leader, big cities, what have you. We are not Vanir, we are not elves. They wouldn't last a day here."

His bitterness was fairly evident in his tone.

"If the Light Alliance - is that what they're called? - if the Light Alliance can't live here, then why do they-" Loki made a gesture at the sky.

"Because they can. They don't like us, don't want us attacking again," Loptr said. "We only wanted to settle Niffleheim and the polar parts of Midgard. Everywhere else is too hot."

"Huh," Loki said, mostly because the version he'd read was much more grim. "So how do you travel planets? Magic?"

"Yes. That and the Bifrost, a magical connector between realms. The Bifrost port for Jotunheim is not far from here," Loptr said, beginning to walk again. "I've only ever used it for my official visits to Vanaheim. Ours is a checkpoint, not a terminal."

There was silence for a moment as they walked further from the throne. Einmyria had declined to come with them and instead had gone tearing off to find Eisa.

"The city spreads outwards from the throne, which is largely a natural structure," Loptr said. "Any craftshops, workshops, and the like are here. Then occupied houses, followed by unoccupied ones. There was a steep population drop after the Midgard Wars; Jotunheim also lost its' heart, a magical object that gave our city its' life. The High Crest was once the jewel of the planet. All gone."

Again, the bitter twist to his voice.

"Anyway," Loptr said, forcing lightness. "It would bring me the utmost pleasure to show you around the various craftshops."

-O.O-

Most of what Loki and Tony learned from the craftshops was that the Jotnar were crazy good with ice, knives, and pelts.

-O.O-

Loptr was a good guide. Once his little history lesson and the associated dark mood had passed, he was charming, managing jokes and wry self-deprecation not unlike Loki.

So much like Loki. It was just surprising to see how incurious Loptr was about the whole phenomenon.

Sometimes they heard life in the distance. People moving around, the sounds of sparring, and once or twice, infants screaming. Loptr told them to ignore it all, especially the latter.

His last stop was back down at the school where they'd met him that morning. The place was calmer but not entirely deserted, some people flocking to and fro.

The giants were fairly diverse in appearance when one looked closer. Different faces, body types - though muscular and stocky seemed to be the most common - styles of dress, features such as horns or hair; they were just as diverse as humans, once you stopped looking at them as all scary blue people.

Loptr stood out hugely, so to speak. He was _tiny._ The closest adult to his height was undoubtedly Eisa.

The giant-in-miniature led them to the same sparring grounds they'd seen that morning.

"If it would not offend you, Loki, I would quite appreciate the chance to try my hand against you," Loptr said, smiling companionably. "No pressure, and definitely no grudges held."

Loki wanted to say no. Loki also wanted to say yes.

Loki as a small child never picked fights, but also rarely backed away from them - too stubborn - and never, ever got into unnecessary battles, because bruises took ages to heal when you were little and skinny.

Loki in his adult years and especially his early years as Lightningrod had picked a fight with_ everyone. _

He was now, at the tender age of thirty-three, somewhere in the middle.

But Loptr promised no grudges.

"No lethal damage, and you have a deal. Extremis can heal me from anything else," Loki finally said.

Loptr grinned crookedly, one of the first displays of raw emotion they'd seen. "Do you mind magic?"

"Within rational boundaries," Loki said smoothly.

With a gesture, Loptr summoned his wooden bō staff, twirling it between his fingers with scary dexterity.

"Kick his ass, babe," was all Tony could really add.

Loptr gestured Loki forward, then clasped hands with him. He was so cold, cold enough that Loki's hand flared scarlet nearly instantly.

The Jotunn took several steps back, and then Loki copied him, assuming that was the procedure.

"Signal to begin," Loptr told Tony.

"Okay. Go! Fight like, I don't know, wolves," Tony said.

Loki's battle strategy was usually centred around 'electrocute; if that doesn't work suck electricity out, and if that doesn't work, stab it or make Tony fight it'. He had a feeling Loptr wouldn't drop so easily.

In an instant Loptr vanished with a burst of blue light. Then he drove his staff, hard, into the small of Loki's back.

_Holy fuck shit that hurt!_ Loki screeched in his head, all decorum lost as pain shot down his spine. Loptr hit hard.

Instinctively, Loki discorporealised, only half set on his destination. He appeared about two metres away from Loptr and lashed out with a powerful electrical blast that Loptr tried to avoid, but it caught him in the shoulder and Loptr actually screamed in pain and nearly collapsed.

Well. They now knew how hard the other could hit.

There was a moment of eyeing each other before Loptr threw his bō staff at Loki. Loki sidestepped, Loptr appeared behind him and caught the staff, and Loki stopped the other's attempt to drive the wood into the nape of his neck. He yanked Loptr towards himself by the staff and kicked the giant in the stomach, and before Loptr could compose himself, Loki had vanished again to appear at a safe distance.

Another core part of Loki's strategy had been his ability and everyone else's inability to teleport. That was not working.

Because the teleporting was getting them nowhere, after a few more skirmishes things dissolved into purely hand-to-hand, though Loptr was carefully avoiding Loki's electrical blasts and Loki Loptr's bō staff.

Tony had retreated to a safe distance.

The scary part was, they were evenly matched. Loki had heat, electricity and teleportation, and Loptr had ice, his staff and teleportation also.

After almost twenty minutes, both of them were knackered and neither had the upper hand.

During a brief break where they just stared calculatedly at each other, Loptr suddenly twirled his staff, laughed lightly and said "I believe this is a stalemate. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Loki conceded, having had enough, but still sent a light shock up Loptr's arm when they clasped hands again. Loptr quirked a smile at that.

"Despite the fact you can't eat, would you accept my invitation to the evening meal? Most of the city turns up; you would be my guests of honour. And Malekith, naturally."

They couldn't really say no.

-O.O-

The Laufeyson-Starks managed to snatch some time to themselves before dinner.

"You alright? He was hitting pretty hard," was Tony's first question.

"Oh, just fine. I do think that if some of those blows had connected, he might have snapped my spine, but fortunately they didn't," Loki said. "I want to leave tomorrow for Vanaheim as Loptr suggested, if that suits you. I feel quite uncomfortable here."

"Creepy, right?" Tony said. "Everything just seems off a tiny bit."

"I can't help but agree. Loptr is too nice. If I know him, and I might if he's so similar to me, then he'll never be nice without an ulterior motive."

"Aw, Sparkles, you're nice. You're the nicest person I know," Tony said, half-sarcastically.

"Well then; maybe I have an ulterior motive," Loki murmured cheekily, his hands somehow ending up on Tony's hips. "I did tell you I was only with you for your money."

"We always come back to this," Tony said. "I keep telling you I'm not as rich as people say."

"Close enough," Loki said. "Are you prepared for whatever is involved in a Jotnar dinner?"

-O.O-

In the end, not much was involved in a Jotnar dinner. Apparently the main meal of the day was the central one, lunch, and this was just a light meal to eat while you socialised.

And socialise Loptr did; evidently he was more than aware of how important getting along with people was, because he made a point of talking to a few dozen random people.

Eisa was doing much the same, but Einmyria had been banished to spend time with the other children. After people started moving around a bit more, Einmyria snuck away from them.

The first Loki knew of this was that she was climbing his coattails. And then she piggybacked him.

"Hello," she said cheerfully. "Sorry we got interrupted before."

"It's quite alright," Loki said, surprised. He'd been talking to another Jotunn, but as they'd been extremely boring, he was grateful enough for the interruption.

"You look like Dad," she told him. "Except pasty white."

"I do," Loki said. He didn't think he was very good with kids. "What do you think of that?"

"Eisa always says; if it looks like a dragon and it stinks like a dragon, it's probably a dragon," Einmyria said, climbing around to his front and dropping onto the ground. "But you're not Dad."

"I might be a dragon, though," Loki said.

"You don't stink like one," Einmyria grinned.

"Touche," Loki conceded. Tony was nowhere to be seen, fortunately, or that would end up as material for the nightly ribbing. "Is your room in your house the one with all the bright colours?"

Einmyria said "It's really dark here. And bland."

"Well, I can't say I disagree with you," Loki said conspiratorially.

Einmyria smiled again, clearly approving of Loki. "Do you want to see my room?"

"There you are, Einmyria," Eisa said suddenly, shoving a wedge into their conversation. "Loptr needed to talk to us."

"You mean Dad."

"I meant what I said. Come on," Eisa said, offering her hand, which Einmyria took with a slight droop to her head.

Which left Loki without a conversational partner. He decided to go and find Tony, not liking being separated from him in such strange company for any amount of time.

Tony was doing his usual thing of charming a small group of people with one of his stories. Fortunately, he could use the Iron Man suit as accentuation, so he was holding them rapt.

Loki just listened for a while, enjoying hearing Tony talk.

He kind of wanted to kick himself for becoming so soppy.

Once Tony had finished his story, several of the kids listening wanted another, and Tony was more than happy to provide.

About halfway through it, Loki got a tap on the shoulder from Loptr.

"Might I talk to you?" Loptr asked. "Nothing major; I was just curious about your world's interpretation of ours, and you claimed you had read the books."

"Of course," Loki said, and then said to Tony "I'll find you later, yes? Keep talking; you have a spellbound audience, love."

Tony grinned and nodded. "Don't get lost."

Loki shot him a look and left.

-O.O-

Loptr, as always, was charmingly curious as Loki told him about Norse mythology back at home. He kept them walking the whole time, taking them away from the dinner until Loki began to feel an element of concern. He didn't like being alone with someone so much like himself, and he didn't like being separated from Tony.

Loki's senses reached nearly full alert as they went into Loptr's house and took a different turn to the one they'd taken that morning.

Then he made the mistake of blinking, and in that time, Loptr's staff had smacked him under the jaw and in the kidney and he'd collapsed on the floor. He tried to lash back with an electrical blast, but Loptr put some kind of magical bubble around them that stopped the energy dead, and his teleportation attempts failed miserably for presumably the same reason.

Despite their earlier playfight, Loptr had beaten him in a matter of seconds.

"I'm hoping no one saw that," Loptr muttered, vanishing his staff. "Come with me."

Loki, never one for following the orders of someone who'd just attacked him, tried to crawl away. "Get the hell away from me!"

"Oh for the love of-" Loptr said tetchily, twisting a hand to paralyse Loki and levitate him off the ground with some sort of blue light. "Our time is limited; your husband seems a very astute man. So stop struggling or I'll take out my irritations on him."

Loki did not want to stop struggling. He'd had his fears and his doubts and he'd walked into the trap anyway. But it didn't seem like there was a whole lot he could do.

And he hated that feeling of impotence. He really wanted to get his fingernails into Loptr's throat.

Loptr led Loki through a doorway and dumped him on the floor of an empty square room, then closed the door.

"Here's the story," Loptr said. "This is nothing personal. In fact, I wish I wasn't doing this to you of all people. But I do need to go to Vanaheim, and I can't do it as myself, or with my abilities. I need you."

_No_, Loki thought. _Whatever's happening, I'm not going to like it. People never say things like that without having seriously fucked-up motives._

"This room appears to be rock but is magically lined; you can't melt or break through it. You stay here for a few days at the most," Loptr continued. "I swear that to the best of my abilities, no harm will come to Anthony Laufeyson-Stark or you."

Then Loptr crouched down in front of him and shapeshifted into Loki.

Not Loki, actually. Someone who looked like Loki, but with shorter hair, blue eyes, and a narrower, younger face. Loptr as a human.

"You know, my daughters inherited my knack for shapeshifting," Loptr said conversationally. "Though neither of them have my skill as of yet."

Loptr looked at Loki critically, assessing difference between them.

"Green eyes," Loptr murmured, blinking heavily. When he raised his eyelids, the irises were the same shade of Loki's green. "You know, if you trained that little spark of magical energy you have, you could replace that ugly green with a nice shade of blue."

The shape of his face and the cut of his hair correspondingly rearranged themselves.

Loki's fear had faded to a calm rationality. There was no escape, because he couldn't move. Any bold movements would have to be left for when Loptr had left the room. So he just stared.

He wished he could blink. His eyes were drying up.

Loptr's next movement was the scariest of all. With a wave of his hand, the Lightningrod suit came off Loki's body, leaving him in just a singlet and boxers. And Loptr donned it. It fitted perfectly, of course.

"I hope I don't kill myself in this thing," Loptr murmured, tugging at the flaps and straps curiously. "You said it required you and no one else to operate it? Well, I'm basically you."

Loptr flexed to test the give of the leather while saying "Malekith has given me food and water for Eisa to give you. I sincerely don't want you to die. I'm not convinced you can, anyway."

Loki was still staring. His eyes hurt.

"You said you were leaving for Vanaheim tomorrow morning, hm?" Loptr said, getting to his feet and making for the door. "Very convenient. As I said, I am sorry."

And with that line, he left, closing the door after him and dispelling the paralysation spell on Loki.

Loki blinked rapidly and immediately tried to escape, with no success.

He felt sick and scared. Everything had happened so quickly, and Tony could still be in danger despite Loptr's promise.

Plus it seemed Malekith was on Loptr's side. They wouldn't be able to get home without him.

And he felt naked in more ways than just one.


	5. All Sorts Of Bullshit Being Spewed

**Chapter 5: All Sorts Of Bullshit Being Spewed**

The first thing Loki did, predictably, was try and find a way out of his little prison. Normally rock and ice wouldn't present him any challenge, being laden with fiery goodness, but the ice wouldn't melt and the rock wouldn't even heat up. Something weird and magical was afoot, probably.

Then Loki scoured the entire room. It wasn't overly large, and there was nothing to it. Not even furniture, which was a problem.

He then calmed himself down and repeated the exploration.

Once he realised that he wasn't getting out of there, he settled down on the floor and meditated, tossing sparks from hand to hand as an exercise.

If someone came back for him, Eisa or Loptr or even Skadi, then he could burn them. They were cold creatures; he might be able to overpower them with fire alone.

Mostly, he just kicked himself for ending up in the situation in the first place.

Loki had unfortunately grown content as of late, or at least, he'd gotten out of practice at being in danger and needing a plan. A few months of your biggest concern being your future last name could do that to someone.

So he hadn't been expecting someone to be able to beat him in a fight - after all, Lightningrod's stats were pretty good - and he certainly hadn't been expecting that Loptr would outfox him.

Sadly, the grand revelation that he'd let his guard down didn't actually help him much. He was just going to have to wait until something changed.

-O.O-

Tony suspected absolutely nothing when Loptr returned with Loki's face. Considering he didn't know Loptr was a shapeshifter and fully respected Loki's ability to look after himself, he had no reason to question anything.

Instead he just shared out some of their food and gave it to Loki. This included protein bars, jerky, and liquid breakfast.

Loptr forced himself to question none of the little packages and just followed Tony's lead, eating everything edible.

Tony chatted as they ate, nothing consequential, just cheery bantering that Loptr could neatly fake his way through. One thing the giant observed was how close the pair of them of were; it reminded him rather a lot of Glut, and was absolutely nothing like his relationship with Eisa.

After food, he feigned tiredness and announced his attention to go to sleep.

"Probably one of the first times you've wanted to go to sleep before me," Tony shrugged, downed a few dried blueberries. "But it's been a big day. Dark, though. The Jotnar must have some crazy night vision."

"Pity they wouldn't exactly let us study them," Loptr said. "Perhaps we could ask Loptr a few questions."

"Nah, I don't trust him. He might want something in return," Tony said. "After all, he's like you, and you never give something without taking something in return."

"Hm," Loptr said, pondering that as he lay back on the furs.

"Wow, you must be tired. No busting my ass," Tony said.

"I don't break buttocks," Loptr said, fairly certain that something had been lost in translation.

"Okay. Goodnight, then," Tony said. He leaned over and kissed Loptr on the temple, then lay back. "Space is fun. But it's better with you."

"I couldn't imagine it without you here," Loptr said, taking a vague guess at the appropriate sentiment.

"I bet you could," Tony said, tugging one of the furs over himself.

-O.O-

Loki had one of the worst nights he'd had for a very long time.

It wasn't incomparable to that time Loki had passed out and woken up to find his favourite boots were stolen. Things had been going great, then he'd made a few bad decisions, and in the morning he'd been underdressed and unhappy.

He did manage some sleep, but it was shallow and restless, highly alert. And, of course, he was sleeping on cold, bare rock, which never did wonders for anything in particular.

He missed several things. Clothes, yes, and Tony, yes, but he was incredibly hungry and would've stabbed a guy for a dark chocolate mint muffin.

-O.O-

Malekith came and found Tony and Loptr fairly early. Never a ray of sunshine, it was clear he was anxious about walking back into the maw of the beast. Already he was pale-skinned and dressed in more Elvish clothing than his usual Svartalfar mage robes.

He looked happy about neither of those things.

Tony just got himself together quickly, working next to Loptr comfortably, not expecting massive amounts of communication between them as they got ready to leave.

"Right. We need to say goodbye to Loptr and Eisa," Tony said.

"And Einmyria," Loptr said, perhaps a little too sharply.

"You really do like her, don't you?" Tony grinned. "I know you don't want kids, but maybe we should get a cat or something."

"That is a possibility," Loptr said, wondering what a cat was.

He was beginning to think he was underprepared to play Loki.

Once they finished up, Tony said "Right, we're done here. Mal, you want to come and say bye?"

"We might be back," Malekith said shortly. "I'm not in the mood to waste words."

"Suit yourself," Tony said. "Lokes?"

"Of course. Always a courteous guest, yes?" Loptr said.

He was rather hoping that Eisa was keeping her end of the deal. They didn't always see eye to eye, but surely she saw the importance of what he was doing.

The problem was that Eisa was massively perceptive and just had a massive lack of caring.

Loptr led Tony out of his house and towards the throne where Eisa was sitting, shapeshifted into her father. She looked bored, a facial expression Loptr always tried to avoid.

Sigh.

They gave their goodbyes, and Eisa at least managed some perkiness then. But she wasn't quite playing the role right; Loptr was temporarily worried, but Tony didn't notice anything.

Then they headed back to Malekith.

Malekith was fully aware of Loptr's plan and had in fact contributed both his cooperation and a few ideas. While he liked Loki and was somewhat loyal to him, the temptation to get one over on Gullveig after everything she'd done was just too tempting.

So the Dark Elf maintained his usual po-faced expression as he twinkled a little magic around his fingers.

"Are you ready, Loki?" Malekith said, his eyes shining slightly as he summoned magic.

"Always," Loptr said, aiming for a confident smirk.

Before joining Tony the night before, Loptr had practiced teleporting with the suit. He could manage it, but it wasn't always hugely exact, given that he didn't really know the numbers involved and was instead relying on his (usually accurate) scientific instincts.

However, he was trying for a different tack, one that wouldn't require him teleporting with the Lightningrod all the way to Vanaheim. Instead, he was going to teleport just past the field dampeners that prevented magical teleportation, then go magical the rest of the way. It would probably work.

-O.O-

Loki had been sitting in his cell for an ungodly period of time without anything happening and was feeling somewhat agonised. On the bright side, he'd come up with a new idea for a type of hologram. On the downside, on the occasion he'd gotten up to do some exercises, he'd slipped over and ripped his boxers on the rocky floor, leaving him even less clothed than before.

He was beginning to consider some kind of undersuit to wear under the Lightningrod so this couldn't happen again. It wasn't fun. He knew it was mostly psychological, but being in a state of undress made the situation that much more miserable.

He didn't know how long he'd been in there when something changed.

Meditating again, the first thing he registered was a footstep, a light one. Then a clear, unbroken voice rang out: "Hey, not-Dad. What're you doing here?"

"Having the time of my life," Loki said dryly.

Einmyria made a confused noise and sat down next to him. "This doesn't look fun."

"It's not."

"Then why - how'd you get here?" Einmyria asked.

"Your father put me here. I don't know what he's trying to do, but he changed his face to look like me and he's going to Vanaheim. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them, little one."

"He wants his magic box," Einmyria said instantly.

"Oh, yes?"

"The magic casket, the one Gullveig took when she defeated Jotunheim. That's why this planet's so stupid now; the heart's gone, or something," Einmyria said. "I wish I'd seen it before. It used to be beautiful, or at least, that's what Grandad Laufey always said."

Loki was looking around the room trying to figure out how Einmyria got in. After a few seconds of looking around the chamber and deciding nothing had changed, he gave in and asked her.

"I felt you in here, so I just walked in," Einmyria shrugged. "No problem."

The issue with that was that not only were the walls entirely solid, but they were also enchanted.

"You walked through the wall?" Loki asked, as though that wasn't something he'd believed somewhat impossible until the day before.

Einmyria nodded lightly and then continued on looking at Loki. "Where's your big outfit gone?"

"Your father stole it."

"Do you want to get some more clothes? I can lend you one of my dad's loincloths," Einmyria offered sweetly.

"No thank you, Einmyria," Loki was beginning to think that Einmyria knew nothing about what was going on. He could use that. "Can you get me out of here?"

She looked unsure. "Dad put you in here, though."

"Your sister was supposed to come back and give me food," Loki half-lied by way of explanation.

"Oh! Then fair enough. Eisa probably had other things to do. I can let you out," Einmyria said. She reached down with a little hand and grasped Loki's shoulder.

And then they were outside. There was no sensation like there was when Loki teleported. They were just instantly outside, no questions asked.

(A turn of phrase, because Loki had oh-so-many questions to ask)

It surprised Loki that his half-assed attempt at deception had gotten him anywhere. But it seemed little Einmyria was largely guileless.

"I have food in my room," Loki said, trying not to betray his eagerness to get back there in the hope Tony somehow hadn't left yet. "We should go there."

Seeing as he'd been sitting on the floor replaying events in his head over and over, Loki knew which way was the way to his room.

Einmyria had different plans. They were suddenly in his room.

It wasn't any less weird the second time.

Unfortunately, Tony wasn't there, and neither was any of their things.

Loki's stomach growled warningly, and the vast expanse of softly glowing skin exposed to the air just reminded him of his clothing situation.

At least the Jotnar had no objections to showing skin. Einmyria hadn't blinked twice.

It seemed that his present condition wasn't to be rectified.

Loki closed the door and climbed onto the fur-covered bed, enjoying the softness as he settled into a comfortable position and began to get right down to thinking.

Einmyria climbed up onto it next to him and curled up, apparently asleep.

-O.O-

Tony, Loptr and Malekith arrived on Vanaheim with little drama. Loptr's plan to make teleporting easier had neatly succeeded.

They were in the middle of a massive stone court, tall and fantastically elegant buildings in all directions. Down a broad road lined with trees and strange flowering plants, an absolutely enormous building shone golden in the evening sunlight.

It was evening. Time differences.

"That's the palace," Malekith said, pointing at the golden building.

"How do we get in?" Tony asked.

"We make an appointment. Emissaries of Midgard should be well-received," Malekith told them.

"Ambassadors of Earth," Tony said with a grin.

"We'd best make a good impression, then," Loptr said. Though he had no such intention.

They set off towards the palace, Tony cheerily oblivious.

-O.O-

Loki had no way of leaving Jotunheim apart from Einmyria, who seemed a tiny bit flaky. So he had a simple idea: he was going to make friends with Einmyria and try and make an ally out of Eisa, who was almost certainly running the place while Loptr was off being a huge asshole.

He was still working on the finer details of his plan, though. He didn't really have enough of a measure of Eisa to know what would sway her.

"I thought you were in a cell," a deep voice said from the doorway.

Loki's eyes snapped open to see Loptr in the doorway. Einmyria had left at some point.

"I was, thank you," Loki said softly, concentrating on heating his hands just in case he needed to do some burning. He didn't know how Loptr was still there, but-

Loptr's face neatly melted into Eisa's, with her bald head and distinct spiralled horns.

"Einmyria?" Eisa said, leaning against the doorway and looking quite unsurprised.

Loki just shrugged. "Apparently I'm a fun version of Loptr."

"Well, she's not wrong," Eisa said dryly. "Look, just don't make trouble; Loptr'll be back soonish. Do whatever you like."

"And if I overpower you?" Loki said conversationally.

The corner of Eisa's mouth curled up. "Good luck with that. I could tear you in half, little one, even with your fire healing."


	6. Royalty Is A Bitch

**Chapter 6: Royalty Is A Bitch**

Effectively, Loki was stuck doing nothing until Loptr came back. Seeing as he really did like Einmyria and found Eisa at least an intriguing character, he ended up sitting around with the pair of them instead of making a fuss.

He asked Eisa briefly if there was anyone who could get him to Vanaheim in a moment while Einmyria had wandered off.

"Only Einmyria," Eisa said. "And I'd rate her accuracy very lowly."

"Why doesn't the magic embargo apply to her too?" Loki asked.

"What she does isn't magic," Eisa said. "She doesn't have a drop in her body. I don't either; I guess Loptr's unhappy he doesn't have anyone to teach his skills."

So many things she said came back to her bitterness about her father.

Despite himself, Loki didn't like that. He knew that he wasn't Loptr and that he didn't want kids anyway. But he still didn't like the idea that he'd be a bad father.

After a while, they settled in a kind of living area and Loki spent a little time with Einmyria.

She settled herself on his lap and said demandingly "Braid my hair."

The chill of her skin stung Loki even through the Extremis, and it seemed she wasn't faring any better, as she wiggled uncomfortably as his skin heated.

"Sit down on the ground," Loki told her. He settled next to her, melted the ice holding her inky black hair in place, and started to create delicate little braids in her hair. "You have lovely hair, little one."

Eisa leaned over and plucked her sister's circlet off her head. "You have to look after this, ashling. You won't get another."

"Sorry, sister," Einmyria said, dipping her head.

"So that's because you're royal, yes?" Loki said, trying to start a conversation.

"Muspelheim royalty, yes," Eisa said. "There are no precious metals here on Jotunheim. Yet another reason we're of no interest to anyone."

"I sense a theme."

"We're in the asscrack of the Realms," Eisa snorted.

"I thought that was Midgard," Loki chuckled.

"Oh, no, you're worse. So much worse," Eisa teased.

"The asshole, then," Loki said.

To his surprise, Eisa actually smiled and laughed. She had a quiet laugh, just like her way of speaking, and it was sweet and soft.

It wasn't even funny. She just seemed to like the risque nature and the joking around.

"You shouldn't say things like-" Einmyria piped up.

"Loptr's not here, ashling," Eisa cut her off. For once, her face was somewhat animated, and she leaned forward a little to listen to Loki. "You're a lot different to Dad, actually. Just surface similarities."

"I think it cannot be denied that we're inherently similar," Loki said. "I have many responsibilities, but I'm not a king or a diplomat or a father of two darling children; he may just be a little distracted."

"Distracted for the last half century. Sure," Eisa said, her amusement turning a little sour again.

Odd were, if the girls - or Eisa, at least - felt that way about their father, then it was probably founded.

Loki was stuck between wanting to know more and not wanting to make the conversation more bitter. Fortunately Einmyria butted in.

"Eisa, since Dad's not here and we're swearing, then do I have to do my exercises?" Einmyria said.

Loki had continued braiding through the conversation, and her hair was about a quarter done.

"Of course not, ashling," Eisa grinned. "And you can have whatever you want for dinner."

"Do I have to go to the big dinner?"

"Nope," Eisa said.

Einmyria thrust her hand down in some version in a fist pump.

On the subject of dinner, Loki's stomach gave a fierce growl again.

He had no idea how long he could go without eating. Ten years ago and without Extremis, that had been a long time, but Extremis used more energy than a standard human body and he was thinking that he would probably wilt in the next twenty-four hours, and be very ill in forty-eight.

But that was an outside guess. He wanted food within the next twelve to be safe.

"Are you certain everything here will kill me?" Loki said. "I haven't eaten for some time."

"We might have something Elvish," Eisa said. "When diplomats visit, we're expected to entertain. There may be something you can eat."

"No concerns about feeding the enemy?" Loki said, an eyebrow raised.

Eisa smiled again.

This was quite possibly Loki's favourite stuck-in-a-terrible-situation-with-no-escape situation yet. If only he knew what Tony was doing.

-O.O-

Tony was very happily oblivious.

If one was to be oblivious, then happily was the way to do it. Tony would be very pissed off if he even slightly suspected what was going on.

But he had no particular reason to. His beloved husband was acting within the bounds of normality, and he respected said husband's ability to protect himself too much to suspect foul play in any sense of the word.

They'd turned up at the palace without hassle. Everyone there was mysteriously tall and absolutely_ gorgeous;_ Tony couldn't help thinking that he'd never been in a room with so many beautiful people before.

Loki fitted right in, damn him.

A little too much, really. The Lightningrod suit looked eerily similar to a lot of the armour the guards were wearing, all fitted leather and dramatic flair.

After introducing themselves and having their species confirmed by the guards - fortunately Malekith had claimed to be an elf and as such he wasn't lying, he just wasn't truthing either - they were informed that non-official visitors from other realms were not allowed a session with the queen without special cause.

That selfsame guard came back about ten minutes later to tell them that due to the lack of previous Midgardian visitors, the queen wished to see them and would slot them in where there'd been a cancellation. So in about another fifteen minutes.

Being royal sounded like a busy job.

But according to both Loptr and Malekith, Gullveig was not any kind of figurehead like so many royal figures on Earth. She was a warrior and a mage and a fierce leader.

"Better be on our best behaviour, huh?" Tony said, elbowing his husband in the side.

The corner of Loki's mouth quirked down. He hadn't been very humorous as of late.

-O.O-

"And that would be complete," Loki murmured, finishing the last braid in Einmyria's hair. "I must admit I have no idea how you'll take these out, but you look lovely for the time being."

Eisa made a dismissive gesture. "I'll get someone to do it magically later. It's nearly time for the midday meal; I should go ask about food for you. Ashling, stay here with Loki, yes?"

Einmyria nodded seriously. Once Eisa had left the room, she grinned. "Do you want to see my room?"

_Fuck, this kid is cute,_ Loki thought. Outwardly, he said. "Your sister said you had to stay here with me, little one."

"She meant we had to stick together," Einmyria wheedled. "It's okay if I take you somewhere."

Loki could only reward semantic twisting like that. "Lead on, then," he said, and she yanked on his hand as a signal to follow him.

Einmyria's room was bizarre. The walls were rock, but the rock was painting in bright smears of colour; a quick investigation by Loki proved that the rock actually was that colour, and hadn't been painted or anything. The furs on Einmyria's bed were far softer than anywhere else and he could swear the stone dias they were positioned on was actually soft like a mattress. All her belongings were thrown all around the room, some of them sticking to the walls or ceiling inexplicably.

It was giving Loki a headache. He hadn't done a Masters in physics for this kind of bullshit.

"Do you like it?" Einmyria said, hands out wide.

"It's rather unbelievable," Loki said honestly.

Einmyria smiled toothily in return. Her and her sister had been doing a lot of that.

-O.O-

The time waiting was spent in silence. Malekith rightfully wasn't enjoying being in the lion's maw, and for whatever reason Tony noticed that Loki looked oddly cold, stiff, and determined. He didn't want to bother him about it; it wasn't like Tony was in the same boat as Loki, seeing as Tony had never discovered he had a doppelganger from space.

Maybe everyone in the universe had one and Loki was just particularly lucky to meet his. Who knew.

In lieu of conversation, Tony kept on puzzling out new ideas he'd had from looking at even the simplest of things on Jotunheim and there on Vanaheim. So many possibilities. He had a feeling he and Loki would be having a working marathon when they got home.

The time until their meeting passed quickly. Tony and Malekith both got up when they were called, followed by Loki after a moment's hesitation.

As they walked in, Tony finally sensed it. Something was wrong. Something had happened that he wasn't privy to.

He wasn't wearing the Iron Man, preferring a formal suit in such surroundings, but he did have one gauntlet on - both fashionable and practical! - and turned to threaten faux-Lokes with it.

His turning moment was absorbed by the smooth movement of faux-Lokes pushing him into the wall gently under the pretense of sensuality. "Apologies, Stark," he murmured, and the sudden iciness of his breath told Tony exactly who he was dealing with. "I had to retrieve something. Now shut up and behave yourself or Loki will perish in his little cell and no one will ever find him."

Tony had often been reckless with his own life in the past, that was true. But Loptr's threat was so very effective in chilling his blood because it was against Loki, not him.

He wouldn't let Loki get hurt. What the fuck did space politics mean to him anyway? He'd rather Loki was safe.

Dammit.

-O.O

After lunch, Eisa sent Einmyria to school, and for the lack of anything better to do, was sitting with Loki, apparently keeping watch on him.

"I'm making sure you don't escape," Eisa said dryly.

"Clearly, you're doing an excellent job," Loki replied, just as dry.

He was feeling a lot better. From somewhere, someone had come up with some dried ox meat, and while Loki wasn't a fan of the stuff, food was food and he'd scarfed it with as much decorum as he could manage.

"I have to ask you," Loki said. "Proportionally, how old was your father when you were born?"

"Just past the legal age of childhood," Eisa said. "Too young."

That was exactly what Loki had thought, now that he'd spend more time with Einmyria.

Eisa corrected herself. "Loki, I might complain about my father a lot, but don't read too much into it. I'm a princess; I haven't exactly led a difficult life."

"Princesses can have poor quality fathers," Loki shrugged. "I've not exactly led a difficult life from the perspective of status or wealth, but I can tell you that I have had some rough times."

"Everyone does, I guess," Eisa said. "I don't mind being here, I suppose; I just don't have any friends or extended family here. It's Einmyria who suffers, even if she doesn't see it that way most of the time. Everyone hates her. Skadi looks at her like she's a meal."

That seemed completely inexplicable to Loki, and he told Eisa as much.

"Don't be ridiculous," she replied. "You mentioned having noticed her powers. On top of that, my not-very-tall mother and very short father made her a tiny mutant freak. If Loptr hadn't protected her, she'd be out on the rocks like every other abnormal child."

The screaming of children in the distance during their tour suddenly made Loki's blood run cold. Bile rose in his throat. "What?" he said, forcing his voice calm.

"Our race has remained strong for so long by throwing away genetically inferior children," Eisa said lightly. "I was borderline. Loptr was thrown away at birth, but that was during the siege of Vanaheim and Gullveig picked him up and returned him to Laufey. One of the many reasons he hates her."

_I don't think I like it here anymore,_ Loki thought.

He didn't really have any words for that.

"I'm just glad I have my sister," Eisa said, not passing judgement on the custom.

He sat there thinking for a moment before Eisa chuckled lightly.

"I shouldn't be talking to you," she said.

"And I'm supposed to be imprisoned, yet here we are," Loki said. His itchy fingers had subsided a little; he was stuck where he was and he could solve a few more mysteries about Loptr and everything else. Speaking of which. "Does Loptr really know nothing more about our connection?"

Eisa shrugged a big blue shoulder, a fairly universal symbol for who the fuck knows.

"Though," she added onto that. "Seeing as his purpose was to convince you to go to Vanaheim, I wouldn't say it's unlikely."

That thought had occurred to Loki, too.

"Make yourself busy while you're here," Eisa said. "When the party from the Ironwood arrives in a few days, there'll be plenty of celebrations and maybe a hunt. It's part of my job to prepare that. I need you to look after the little ashling when she leaves school and keep her out from underfoot; she seems to like you, so that should be no issue."

Loki was honestly surprised by how much she trusted him. If it was a ruse, it was a pretty poor one.

-O.O-

Tony tried to stay calm as the three of them entered Gullveig's massively long and tall throne room. Huge windows, tall pillars, and golden walls increased the feeling of enormity. A long purple carpet stretched the length of the hall, ending in Gullveig's throne on its' dias.

Tony had thought Loptr's throne was big. But this was a symbol of power in every single sense.

Gullveig herself was wearing a kind of armour-robe-dress combination, sitting on her throne in a clear posture of power and confidence. Her eyes were a vivid, intense blue, visible even at their distance, and her hair was a light red-gold and piled ornately on her head.

Aside from that, in the face, she looked a little like Frigga, Loki's mother. But the resemblance was limited; Frigga was kind and gentle, even though a stern and proud mother on occasion, while Gullveig was all steel.

She had two guards flanking her and clearly took her visitations seriously.

"Midgardians, approach," a guard said from behind them.

They walked the distance along the hall until they were almost directly in front of her.

Tony had no time for observing her closely. He was panicking a little inside.

_How the hell could I have left Loki back on Jotunheim? Dammit, we just got married, shouldn't we be more in sync than this?_ Then he started to chill a little and think it through._ Loptr may have Loki locked up, but he almost certainly can't contact Jotunheim from here. And I have an emergency teleporter in my suit. The only problem is accuracy; where the fuck is Jotunheim?_

Probably they could've made more preparations for such an event.

He had to focus Gullveig stood up respectfully on their approach.

"Two humans and an elf for you," one of the guards said unnecessarily.

The corner of Gullveig's mouth twisted down. There was a light flash of pale blue magic before she said "One human, one elf, and one mutant Jotunn, I think you'll find."

"The game was never going to last anyway," Loptr shrugged, shifting back into his ordinary self. "I just needed to get into the palace."

Gullveig barely reacted, to her credit, even while the guards flinched and snapped to action. But a slight blue shimmer arose between herself and her unwanted guest.

"Loptr. You have nothing to gain from your repeated attempts to break into my home. Go home, rule over your frozen Helhole, and don't bother me until the next Council of Worlds," Gullveig said, like Loptr was an annoying teenage neighbour.

Loptr's smile was coy. "Oh, you're right, Gully. There isn't a thing I can do."

Gullveig sat back down tetchily. "How did you get in here? I ask simply so that I can ensure you don't do it again."

"You remember you informed me of the other Laufeyson?"

"The one who has yet to get into my hair?"

"This is his husband," Loptr said. "You can talk now, Tony."

"Lock him up and let me go find Loki," Tony said. "I'm just an innocent little guy from Midgard, here as a patsy. You don't want me."

"Yes, I can tell by looking at you that you're completely irrelevant," Gullveig said boredly. "I'd like to meet this Loki of yours. We have rather a lot to discuss. But never mind. Guards, seize him, or I'll do it myself."

In a moment, Loptr twisted his hands and yanked a box from nowhere, about the size of a shoebox or bigger and glowing blue from within.

"The Casket-" Gullveig began, and then got to her feet, blue energy swirling around her hands.

She launched a volley at Loptr just as he used the Casket to somehow create a blast of ice and snow, stopping the guards in their tracks and putting Gullveig on the defensive.

"Malekith, Tony, we must leave," Loptr said, snatching both of their hands and preparing to leave.

"Malekith!" Gullveig growled, now even more pissed off than before.

Then she vanished along with the rest of the room.

-O.O-

When the three of them arrived, Loki was sitting next to the throne teaching Einmyria about electricity. She thought it was exciting when he explained it in terms of power nyooming through wires like water through a river.

He could apply the laws of physics to her yet.

And then Tony, Loptr and Malekith appeared. Tony had a moment of disorientation, but Loptr had none, marching forwards towards Eisa, who was discussing something with a group of giants at the base of the throne.

A blast of green light from Loptr's hand blasted Loki out of the way uncaringly. "Get away from Einmyria," Loptr said icily. "Eisa, ready the students. I just took the Casket back from right under Gullveig's nose and no doubt this means _war."_


End file.
